Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
