PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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