We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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