He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
