just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
