I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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