I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
