watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
it's like heaven, but drunker
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize