So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I still have a little drunk in my system
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
