Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize