I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
