Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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