So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
