I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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