P.S. I can't hear my feet
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
