youre lurking in front of me
You're earring is so big in my mouth
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Drunk is not a location!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
