I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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