Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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