You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
you never un-have a 4some
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
