do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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