Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
