i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
