I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
