in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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