you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
