Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
