i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
this hospital has no fireball
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
