You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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