everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
