spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize