Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
