yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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