Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize