Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
