Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm both gender and math confused
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
