belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
