sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
