Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
