Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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