I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
