it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
