Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
