I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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