I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
