stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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