I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
