Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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