Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
