ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
