my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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