Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
