am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
