you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
organizing the empties. That sober.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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