1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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