i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Randomize
