I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
