I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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