i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize