Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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